One thing that the new age social media motivational influencers are promoting is the need for Self-love.
‘Accept yourself for who you are,’ -Touché, but you do know that you need to sometimes change for good, right?
‘You are beautiful,’ – Well, obviously!
‘It’s not your fault, it was theirs, they’re not worth it,’ – Do you even know the context?
‘You are your best friend,’ – I am glad!
‘No one is flawless, embrace your flaws!’ – What flaws are you referring to? If they are related to physical appearance, then yes, I agree.
‘You don’t need anyone else,’
-Okay, Stop! Really?
‘You don’t need anyone else?’
‘You come alone, you go alone.’ -Well, agreed but what about all that comes in between, I thought it is called life, and that humans are social animals. To be honest I think it is unsolicited advice. With these loosely defined advices, won’t people drown in self-love and displace understanding, value of authenticity, humility, genuineness, compromise, endurance, patience, cooperation and consideration for others out of their social value pool?
I believe there is a dire need to define Self-love. A way to actually understand who needs it and in what proportion. I feel as if there should be some established limits defined to it as if though they are prescribed as per Pharmacopoeial standards. Well, for those who don’t know what a Pharmacopoeia is, it is the bible of the Pharmaceutical community. One has to abide by its guidelines and limits. A well written Monograph (profile of a drug with its standards to prepare and check for purity, efficacy and authenticity) of self-love would make the use of it quite convenient, wouldn’t it?
The limits would be stated something like: ‘Not less than quantity sufficient of self-esteem and not more than adequate amount of self-respect.’
It’s kind of amusing to think like that, but just imagine a dose indication for self-love:
Very low doses for individuals prone to overthinking about their appearances on a regular basis
Low doses for under confident, anxiety prone and low self-esteem individuals.
Mid-limit doses for situationally depressed and or self-deprecating individuals
High doses for individuals suffering from long term clinical depression and disillusioned individuals
A fairly high dose for individuals suffering from self-destructive, self-mutilating behaviour and anorexic individuals
Use: To restore self-respect and self-confidence.
Warning: Overdose may lead to Self-obsession, self-centred and self-absorbed behaviour
Toxicity may include brazen and abnormal* behaviours.
*Abnormal behaviours may include
-Talking about themselves all the time (gives them false impression of having a conversation but really it is just a long monologue!)
-Looking in the mirror for times more than usual or normal (includes looking at themselves in the selfie camera)
-Comparing themselves to others and always conclude with them being superior for each and every other thing
-Being inconsiderate of the various people around them
-Trying to gain self-importance at every opportunity they get
Contraindications: Not to be taken for fun, or in extremely emotionally vulnerable individuals through the Internet as it can lead to misinterpretation and undue toxicity.
Directions for use: To be taken as prescribed by a sane well wisher and in extreme cases only as per the instructions of a clinical psychologist and or registered psychiatrist.
I know what you might be thinking, we all are to some extent self-centred, aren’t we? Yes of course, we live our lives so automatically our life is going to be surrounded by well, thoughts and comparisons of ourselves. But most of us know moderation and a lot of us know that self-love is doing something you love to do, doing something that makes you happy and confident and occasionally reaffirming yourself about your capabilities and that’s about it!
There are thousands of quotes, snippets and microtales related to Self-love on the web. It is to a point that I have actually begun antagonising people who keep on promoting self-love without explaining what it is and how it actually works. However, the only one I find fitting is: ‘Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend in conflict.’ Now, that is good advice! I mean it tells you when to be used and in what amount. Of course you won’t go overboard with helping or even just the idea your friend, or you would come off as a stalker and a creepy person! I’m pretty sure being self-obsessed is the equivalent of being creepy: staring at yourself relentlessly, (imagine if it was someone else doing that), isn’t it creepy? And if you be ignorant, then well, you’re not a good friend! So I think it’s best to be a good friend and companion to yourself, always!